


An Uncommon Love Letter

by rbmifan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Character Interpretation, F/M, Mid Canon, Pre-Canon, Stream of Consciousness, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-08
Updated: 2011-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-14 13:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rbmifan/pseuds/rbmifan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Valentine's Day, Hinata writes a letter she will never send.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Uncommon Love Letter

You were the last one to introduce yourself on the first day of class. You smiled; shy, kind, and polite. I was surprised. You were from the same sort of family I was, after all. I had been taught that such a personality was weak and abnormal; therefore the chances of anyone else having one were very slim.

The rumours started that very day. You were special, everyone assumed. You weren’t supposed to be like everyone else; you were to be the prodigy, the perfect shinobi, the Uchiha. You had a brother that fulfilled these expectations, they said. It was only natural that you would turn out to be the same. They looked at you with awe, with envy, and with a bit of fear. You said nothing to their stares, or their whispers, but ducked your head and blushed faintly. I smiled at that.

You were not like me, though. You threw yourself into your training more than anybody else in the class, and you quickly rose to the top. You were always the first to arrive at the academy, and the last to leave. I came across you one night when you were practicing in the forest, where you thought nobody would see. You never noticed me, but I started to visit that place often, watching you. I wondered why you were so desperate to prove yourself, when it was obvious you were nowhere near the level of your brother. I had given up trying to match my own sister years ago for the same reason.

I began to understand the day he visited. It was only once, to walk you home, but your eyes lit up like the sun at his face. I watched you as you ran to him; watched the way you followed his every move and imitated it. I realized then that it was not for acknowledgement from your father that you were trying so hard; it was for him, the very person who outshone you in every aspect possible. It was…inspiring, in a way.

I began to help you. I’m not sure why, even now. Perhaps it was because, although you were like me, I thought you had a chance. And perhaps someday you might get the acknowledgement you worked so desperately for. You never noticed me, of course. I wasn’t brave enough to actually approach you. I made sure the scrolls you needed for your outside practice were always available in the library. When you fainted in the dead of night, I carried you back to the entrance to the Uchiha Compound and waited to make sure you were noticed.

It was always your brother that collected you; I never once saw another person in that Compound. He must have known that somebody had been leaving you there every night, but he never gave any sign of noticing me. Except once. It was just days before the massacre; before your life, and you, changed so drastically. He looked up from you, cradled effortlessly in his arms, toward the little patch of shadow I had chosen to hide in. His eyes were cold, appraising. They frightened me, so much so that I turned and ran all the way home. That night I dreamed of kunai and blood, and those cold, cold eyes.

I don’t know whether it was a sign- that was the only time I ever had a dream that was anything like a future event. You would never have believed me, anyway, if I had told you the feeling I got from him. Why would you? You’d known your brother for your whole life, and didn’t know me at all. Still, when I heard about the massacre, I couldn’t help but feel that maybe I could have prevented it. If I had been brave enough to confront you, perhaps, or if I had been smart enough to figure out something myself. Such is the naivety of a young girl, I suppose.

Despite the shock and guilt that tormented me, though I’d really had no involvement with you or your clan, I knew that you must have been feeling so much worse. I was relieved- relieved beyond words- to hear that you had survived, but at the same time I was afraid. Such a traumatic experience was sure to scar you, to change you, and I knew enough to understand that you would never again be the same boy I had grown so fond of watching.

The villagers, the teachers, and the parents all looked at you with pity. The parents were the worst, since the villagers could be avoided and the teachers still had their jobs to tend to. The parents, though, came every day to take their children home from school. _Poor boy,_ they would whisper to each other as they watched you pass, as if their lingering presence and furtive glances weren’t obvious enough, _he’s been through so much._ And then they would leave and go back to their lives, and leave you to deal with the next person’s curious gaze and a house that must have felt so empty it was hardly bearable.

And I was no different, because I did the same.

I hated everyone else for their fake sympathy, their insensitivity and for the effect their words and glances had on you. I watched as your hands clenched and your eyes shut, and I could feel your despair, your frustration and your anger as if you were shouting it. I looked around desperately for someone who would help you, who wouldn’t leave you alone when that was the last thing you must have wanted. And all the while it remained unthinkable for me to do just that. I suppose that makes me worse than everybody else.

You withdrew into yourself, closing yourself off from anyone who would try to offer his or her condolences. And there were people who tried, after the initial shock of the event had worn off. Many clans realised that they could benefit from taking in the last surviving Uchiha in Konoha, and so they told their children to become friends with you. My father was too proud to have anything to do with that sort of thing, but I was approached by several other clan members during that time, who prodded me to get closer to you.

The first time that happened to me, I knew that the chance of us becoming friends was past. Even if I managed to get up the courage afterwards, you would think I was doing it for my clan. And you would not have really seen me, anyway, because you didn’t really see anybody now. I saw that in the single-minded intensity of the way you trained. It was nothing like your determination from earlier; you no longer cared about proving yourself to anybody in this village. No…you wanted revenge. At that age, I don’t think I fully understood the concept. All I saw was the way it changed you; the way your eyes slowly became no different than your brother’s.

I think it was your eyes that finally motivated me to change. I couldn’t shake the thought that if not for my weakness, I could have helped. I remembered how you had found someone to emulate, and I began to look for one myself. I needed to find someone brave and self-confident; someone who, in my place, would have done the right thing. That’s when I first noticed Naruto, you know. He was mistreated by the villagers, as well, though for different reasons. Even so, I have never seen him frown or cry, and he steadfastly refuses to give up on anything. Such a stubborn optimism would surely have allowed him to step in and befriend you, when you had lost everything in the world that mattered to you.

I began to imitate him in the years to follow; though I was, and still am, painfully unsuited to his way of living life. In my heart, I knew it would always be far too late to approach you and try to make up for the years I had spent as a coward. So I was very glad when he and you were assigned to the same team at the end of our last year at the academy. I thought that if the two of you were forced to work together, Naruto might succeed where I had failed to even try. I had chosen him as my role model for just that reason, after all. I would likely not see you after the last day of class, but…I wasn’t as sad about that as I expected. Perhaps it was because I knew Naruto was far more suited to befriending someone who did not want to be befriended.

The next time I saw you was during the chuunin exams, and the first thing I noticed was how much more relaxed you were. Your eyes were warmer than they’d been since your family died; there was genuine affection in the way you spoke with your teammate. It would seem that my predictions had come true, and for that I was overjoyed. I had been training myself since then, and I decided then that I would speak to you sometime during the exams.

There was no chance during the first exam to do so. I was seated by Naruto during the written test, and it was obvious that he was having difficulty with the questions. I wasn’t surprised- the test was far too advanced for an ordinary genin, and I remembered that he had been horrible at written assignments back at the academy. I knew what my tutors would say about him, that if he couldn’t handle the obstacles set before him he didn’t deserve to be a shinobi. Still…it seemed unfair to watch him fail after working so hard to get here. I had grown to admire him quite a bit since I had chosen him to be my role model. To compound my dilemma, I knew that you would also be disqualified based on his answers. My old desire to help you returned, and so I thought to help him by letting him read my answers. I had, of course, memorized all of the required information beforehand, so I was fairly sure they were right.

He was wary at first, suspecting a trap. I suppose I can’t blame him. I was competing against him, after all, and he was likely not used to kindness. Still, I thought he would take me up on it before he suddenly refused, saying that he was too good of a shinobi to cheat. That he was bluffing was obvious by the nervous sweat still running down his face, but his refusal brought back my usual nervousness full force and I let it drop. It was fortunate that the test turned out to be unimportant in the end.

You seemed different after the second exam, as if you had partially reverted back to how you were a year ago. I wondered what had happened in the forest to cause such a change; of course, it would have been out of place for me to ask. In any case, the answer became clearer during your fight against the Sound genin. I don’t think very many people noticed the black lines that spread across your body midway through the fight, but I knew instinctively that they were the reason for your reversion. You defeated him easily after that, and I wondered at your rise in power. But you had a smug grin on your face at the end of it that reminded me of the pride you took in every little improvement back when we were younger. That relieved me far more than anything else.

During the last fight of the chuunin exams you did not need to call upon the strange power of those marks. Because of that, I thought it was a much more impressive match. When you left to chase after the Sand shinobi I was confident that you would come back safely. For my part, I was largely useless during the battle against the Sound, but then many of the other genin were, as well. I fell back from the front lines and helped out where I could. I resolved, during that fight, that I would get up the courage to talk to you in the near future.

I did not expect you to leave so soon afterwards.

It was Shino that told me your had left. He had left one of his bugs with each of us so that he would be alerted if anything happened to us; A precautionary measure that proved useful when Kiba was called away suddenly to retrieve you. Shino thought that we should have just let you leave, since our resources were stretched thin as it was after the battle. He was always the practical one of our group, and normally I value his opinion. But I could not agree with him this time. I knew, beyond any doubt, that if you were allowed to leave Konoha you would be lost to us forever.

Now Naruto is gone as well, and I’m left sitting alone in the Compound on Valentine’s Day six months later. I wonder every day what the two of you are doing, and how we all ended up on this path. I suppose that’s why I’m writing this letter, even though know you will never see it. It’s silly. We’ve never even spoken to each other, and yet I worry about what’s happening to you outside of Konoha. Was revenge so important that you had to leave everything behind to attain it? I don’t know. But…I know, somehow, that I will see you again. Naruto will not give up on you so easily, and neither will I. I believe that I’ve grown stronger since that day we left the academy, and I will continue training until the day Naruto returns. Then…I will go with him to try and bring you back. The next time, I will not be content with merely watching you. You deserve better than that, and I am ashamed that it’s taken me so long to see that.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Beyond the Eyes (SasuHina Fansite) on 02-14-08


End file.
